So You’re Hot, Hungry, and Emotionally Done with Cooking?
Let’s set the scene: it’s 90°F (or it feels like it), you’re sweating in places you didn’t know had sweat glands, and the very idea of turning on the stove makes you consider just…not eating. I get it. We’ve all been there—hangry, hot, and dangerously close to ordering takeout for the third time this week.
Enter: this Cold Cucumber & Glass Noodle Salad. It’s refreshing. It’s crunchy. It’s got enough zing to wake up your taste buds without smacking them. And best of all? It’s easy. Like, barely-break-a-sweat easy. You’re welcome.
Why This Recipe is Awesome
- No cooking required. (Okay, technically you boil noodles, but we’re not roasting a duck here.)
- Fast AF. You can whip this up in 15 minutes—faster than your food delivery app can find a driver.
- Crispy + slippery = mouth party. The cucumber crunch + silky glass noodles = texture heaven.
- Customizable. Hate cilantro? Leave it. Want it spicy enough to regret your choices? Go for it.
- Looks fancy, tastes fancier. Ideal for impressing people with minimal effort. My kind of cooking.
Honestly, it’s idiot-proof. Even I didn’t mess it up—and I’ve burned toast in a toaster before.
Ingredients You’ll Need
- Glass noodles (aka cellophane noodles or mung bean noodles) – They look weird dry, but they glow up in hot water.
- Cucumber – One large, juicy boi. English cucumbers are less seedy, but use whatever you’ve got.
- Garlic – 2–3 cloves, depending on your vampire situation.
- Soy sauce – Brings the umami drama.
- Rice vinegar – For that tangy zing. No rice vinegar? See below for swaps.
- Sesame oil – Toasted, for extra flavor. If you skip this, I will judge you a little.
- Chili crisp or chili oil – Adds heat and crunch. Optional but highly recommended if you’re not a spice wimp.
- Sugar – Just a pinch to balance the flavors. Your taste buds will thank you.
- Fresh herbs – Cilantro and scallions are stars here. Mint is a fun twist if you’re feeling wild.
- Sesame seeds – For a lil’ crunch and a lot of aesthetic. Totally optional.
Step-by-Step Instructions
- Soak those noodles.
Boil some water. Pour it over the glass noodles in a bowl. Let them sit for 5–7 minutes, or until they’re soft and slurpable. Drain and rinse with cold water so they don’t keep cooking and turn into sad mush. - Smash and slice your cucumbers.
Take out some rage and lightly smash the cucumber with the side of a knife (or rolling pin). Then slice into bite-size chunks. Smashing helps them soak up flavor. Plus, it’s oddly therapeutic. - Mix the dressing.
In a bowl, whisk together:- 2 tbsp soy sauce
- 1.5 tbsp rice vinegar
- 1 tsp sesame oil
- 1 tsp sugar
- 2 minced garlic cloves
- 1 tbsp chili crisp (optional but do it)
- Combine everything.
Toss the drained noodles, cucumbers, dressing, and herbs (cilantro, scallions) in a big bowl. Mix like your life depends on it (or until everything’s evenly coated). - Top & chill.
Sprinkle with sesame seeds. Pop it in the fridge for 10–15 mins if you can wait—it tastes better chilled. Or just eat it straight out of the bowl while standing over the sink. No judgment.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Not rinsing the noodles.
Skipping the cold rinse = gummy, tangled noodle mess. Don’t do it. Just don’t. - Overcooking the noodles.
These bad boys go from perfect to soggy in seconds. Keep it quick and keep an eye on them. - Forgetting the salt balance.
Taste the dressing before dumping it on. If it tastes like liquid salt, dilute with a splash of water or vinegar. - Using regular cucumbers without de-seeding.
Unless you enjoy watery salad soup, scrape those seeds out if using non-English cucumbers.
Alternatives & Substitutions
- No rice vinegar?
Use white vinegar with a pinch of sugar. Apple cider vinegar also works if you’re that kind of person. - Gluten-free?
Glass noodles usually are, but check the label. Swap soy sauce for tamari or coconut aminos. - No chili oil?
Add red pepper flakes and a drizzle of regular oil. Not the same, but close enough for a Tuesday. - Want protein?
Toss in shredded chicken, tofu, or even leftover rotisserie chicken. Fancy but lazy = winning. - No herbs?
Skip ’em. The salad won’t cry. But if you do have fresh herbs? Go nuts. Mint, basil, even dill (don’t knock it).
FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)
Can I make this ahead of time?
Heck yes. It actually gets better after marinating in the fridge. Just maybe keep the herbs and sesame seeds separate until serving so they stay perky.
Do I have to peel the cucumber?
Nah. Unless the skin is tough or bitter, just give it a rinse and go. Lazy cooking FTW.
What if I hate cilantro?
First of all, rude. But okay. Swap it for basil, mint, or more scallions. Live your best anti-cilantro life.
Can I serve this hot?
Technically yes, but… why? It’s called a cold salad for a reason. Trust the process.
Is it spicy?
Only if you make it that way. Chili oil is optional. But like, don’t be scared—spice = flavor.
How long does it keep?
About 2 days in the fridge. After that, it gets a little soggy and sad. Eat it fresh(ish).
Can I use spaghetti noodles instead?
sigh You could, but it’s gonna be weird. Glass noodles are key to that slippery, silky vibe. Just try them once, okay?
Final Thoughts
There you go, you low-effort legend—you just made a refreshing, slurp-worthy salad without even turning on the stove. Whether you’re feeding yourself, your roommate, or someone you’re trying to impress with your “effortless” cooking skills (wink wink), this dish is a solid win.
So grab your chopsticks (or fork, we’re not judging), pop on a chill playlist, and dig into your new summer obsession.
Now go impress someone—or just your cat—with your culinary wizardry. You’ve earned it.